Ms. Tippett: In 2006, I sat across from [Elie Wiesel] in a hotel room that my producers had turned into a makeshift studio and I asked him to tell me what happened after he lost his faith forever, as he wrote, at Auschwitz. He answered:

“What happened afterwards is in the book. I went on praying.”

Ms. Tippett: I’m wanting to ask you if, in this journey from being a person who would say that your faith was gone forever, were there any dramatic moments or turning points where you couldn’t make that statement anymore?

MR. WIESEL:I couldn’t make it ten minutes later. At that moment, I made it. And because it was there, I had to make it. But as I said earlier, then I went back to prayer. What is prayer? You take words, everyday words, and all of a sudden they become holy. Why? Because there is something that separates one word from another and then you try to fill the vacuum. With what? With whom? With what memory? With what aspiration? So when words bring you closer to the prisoner in his cell, to the patient who is dying on his bed alone, to the starving child, then it’s a prayer.
(https://onbeing.org/programs/evil-forgiveness-prayer-elie-wiesel-2/)

This was the second reading at the contemplative service this week and it moved me profoundly. His fidelity to God even when he could not forgive; his understanding of prayer being composed of everyday words held together by people, events, memories, aspirations…and the whole, the words and what binds them, the prayer, being able to draw one closer…closer to the one in need, to suffering, closer to gratitude, closer to joy…closer…to the one who is always With, even when we cannot forgive.

This followed a first reading from John when Jesus appears to his disciples after the crucifixion and offers them two things: the first is peace and the second, forgiveness.

It was a combination to be held with reverence, for sure. And the sanctuary provided the perfect place for it. There were no overhead lights on this week…there was no need. Light poured through the stained glass, illuminating the space and faces. There is also a saturating peace in this space…that remains and also goes forth as a sense memory within those who have spent time here. It is a peace of welcome home and welcome in and the invitation to be with the fullness one brings to the prayer that happens here…all of the contradictions, the frustration, the questions, any lack of forgiveness, the gratitude, joy, fidelity…and the faith that words become holy when they draw us closer, when they help us see and know and recognize the God who is with us always…in those we love, in those who suffer, in those who have lost hope…God who knows about scars and who forgives and who calls us together to attend to our words and all that binds them.

I left on the notes of the sung blessing that concludes our time…knowing that it wasn’t really a conclusion at all… and so deeply grateful for that.